Don't Let The Fear Control You

Today, I worked on finishing up a chapter of the novel. I also decided to finish up a couple scenes in the screenplay that I haven't worked on in quite a few months. It was just something that I felt I should look over today.

My writing has been lacking yet again. I'm not sure where my head has been at lately. Something has been holding me back and I'm not exactly sure what it is. The stress I've been experiencing has really started to bring me down to another level. There's only so much a person can deal with before reaching their own breaking point. There are times when I feel like I have nowhere to turn.. the loneliness really creeps its way in at night. My anxiety has been rearing its ugly head. That's something I'll always have to battle anyways.

During the summer of 2006, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder/Panic Disorder after going through horrible panic attacks. These panic attacks ruled  my life. They ruled where I went and what I did. I didn't want to be alone for fear that it would happen when no one was around and something bad would happen to me.  I learned how to fight through them and made sure they didn't take control of myself any longer. Sometimes, they try to sneak back into my life especially this past year of uncertainty and fear. I do my best to push them away.

At the moment, I'm plotting out another novel to write after this one is finished. I think this one is really going to define who I am as a writer and as a person. It's important to define you are in this life. You need to make people aware of your talents and be proud of what you do. I try not to listen to the people who try to bring me down and take away what is most precious to me. Those things are my determination, my talent, and my dedication to the craft I'm involved in.

Like anyone else, I've had to go through battles that could have ruined who I am. These past few years have really tested my own inner strength. I use my weaknesses and turn them into strengths. Don't let those weaknesses or fears hold you back from what you love. Don't let them control who you are.