Life is a perception of your own reality

So today I had a nice good cry. Okay, maybe it wasn't so nice. I hate to cry. But, of course that's how things go these days.

I'll try to make this brief. Basically, I was in my brother's room, watching something on tv when my step-dad bellows out my name from the kitchen. That's how I'm summoned here. I go to the kitchen and he points to the sink where a few dirty dishes were in and said "You need to do the dishes." Right. I know I have to do the dishes. That's just one of the things I'm expected to do around here. So I tell him, "Yes, I know. Just give me a couple minutes." I actually wanted to wait until there were more dishes to warrant using dish detergent but obviously that wasn't what he wanted. He rolled his eyes and said, "whatever. You always do what you want to do anyways." Then he goes off into his bedroom where he'll continue to sleep all day.

This upset me. My step dad always acts like I do absolutely nothing in this freaking house. Like nothing gets done. That I'm just some worthless unemployed loser. Funny how he doesn't have a job either. That all he does is sleep all day or sit around in his underwear. Yeah, it disturbs me too. I went in and did the stupid dishes. And then I cried.. and then I had to go take out the garbage. That's what I do. I get up early to feed the dogs, the cats, hell I even have to take care of his dumb dog. I make sure the horses have water and when they don't, I give them water. I do the dishes, clean the house, help with laundry, etc..etc. And yet, I don't do a damn thing.

Is it my fault I can't find a job? No. What does he expect me to do? I'm not alone here. There are a lot of damn people who can't find a job right now. Give me a break here. I wish I could move away. Move far, far away.