If Only

I wish my insecurities wouldn't plague me so. Everywhere I turn, I'm bombarded with self-doubt and stress. I probably would have completed three novels and two screenplays by now and be uber successful if I didn't have such things.

Am I good enough? Will I ever be good enough? Will people like what I do? What if they don't? What if I end up failing and disappointing people?

I never want to disappoint other but in return, I end up disappointing myself because I'm holding myself back. From so much.

We all have plans, you know? Goals and dreams. I want to get out of here and really start living my life.

I feel stifled and lonely a lot. I sit in my room and work on my writing projects (seven pages written on the novel..woo!) but yet, I feel like I'm just wasting away. I don't want to live my life in regret but my anxiety disorder holds me back. My OCD holds me back. I just want to be happy.